Thursday, October 7, 2010

Neurotic Worries..

I really get nervous that somehow my son will find this blog.

I try to not write anything about his life, as it is not my place to tell his story, so that's not what I worry about.  What I worry about is him taking any of my garbage onto himself.  Or him thinking that I am in reality a "bitter birthmom" that he wants nothing to do with.  I already think that a lot of what he says/doesn't say is just because he is really a nice guy & doesn't want to hurt me. 

I am so much more than a first mom.  This blog is just my place to vent about that part of my life.  My place to try to come to terms with all of it.  I started this blog to speak out my truth.  To "cancel out" one of the happy-happy-birthmom blogs that I see more and more of out here in blog-land. 

I just can't help but worry that if Christopher finds this blog, it will scare him away.  Because the neurotic 15 year-old in me worries about that often. 

1 comment:

  1. I worry about that all the time... In fact, only recently have I made my blog less anonymous. I am very particular in my RL about who has the link (I can count the amount of people on one hand). I write MY truth, and that invariably mixes with other people's "truths". It's a slippery slope- but I try and write my posts in such a way in that if anyone were ever to find my blog, I could stand by every word I wrote.