I really get nervous that somehow my son will find this blog.
I try to not write anything about his life, as it is not my place to tell his story, so that's not what I worry about. What I worry about is him taking any of my garbage onto himself. Or him thinking that I am in reality a "bitter birthmom" that he wants nothing to do with. I already think that a lot of what he says/doesn't say is just because he is really a nice guy & doesn't want to hurt me.
I am so much more than a first mom. This blog is just my place to vent about that part of my life. My place to try to come to terms with all of it. I started this blog to speak out my truth. To "cancel out" one of the happy-happy-birthmom blogs that I see more and more of out here in blog-land.
I just can't help but worry that if Christopher finds this blog, it will scare him away. Because the neurotic 15 year-old in me worries about that often.