Saturday, November 13, 2010

This post is not really adoption related, it's more personal in nature. 

Again today, the daily email from The Brave Girls Club seems to be written to me.  From the very first sentence, "It's ok to cry sometimes, you know.  It's even ok to completely fall apart for a little while so that you can put yourself back together in the way you are supposed to be together...".  It even mentions having a hole in your heart where loved things used to be.  

I'm taking this daily email as a sign that I'm finally on the right path.  Finally taking the steps necessary to come to terms with everything before I lose one more day.


Because today I am reminded of how bad things can get 
when you try to bury something from your past. 

I found out today that a friend from high school finally reported something horrific that happened to her during our high school days.  Something that she had never told anybody until a few years ago when she confided in another friend of ours. 

I thought that keeping my pregnancy and the adoption of my son a secret was damaging.  What this friend has kept secret is so much worse.  

Sadly, she will be vilified by many.  I imagine very few people will place their anger where it belongs ~ on a man who had a wonderful reputation in our community.  A man who was a leader of many.  On the man that committed a grievous crime against innocent girls who were afraid to speak out. 

Instead they will blame my friend, who has fought drug addiction several times since graduation.  Drug addiction brought on because of what was done to her.  Addiction brought on because she kept a horrible secret.

I am so proud of my friend and another woman for coming forward, all these years later.  The bravery it would have taken for her to tell her story is unimaginable.  

I pray for her that telling her truth shall set her free.  And I pray that people will not judge unless they have walked a mile in her shoes. 


  1. I hope the truth can bring about healing, secrets and lies never do. May she be blessed on her journey.

  2. You might be surprised how people react to your friend. The average person now realizes that addictions and self destructive behavior can be a result of abuse. There will always be those who don't want to believe that a leader of many with a wonderful reputation can do awful things but let's hope they're in the minority.

    I hope your friend does ok with it all. It can't be easy.

  3. I agree with Campbell. When you mentioned the addiction at the end, my immediate thought was that she probably had to do so much just to begin to cope with the effects of abuse.

    I send all my best wishes to her as she walks down this path, which is so very difficult. The truth can be ugly, but it needs to be told. Secrets and lies are like poison.

    Thank you for sharing the story.

  4. It's often the pillars of a community who are perpetrators.They become pillars because of their crimes, in a way to hide them and have lots of supporters who will disbelieve.Hope she turns things around and doesn't let herself stay a victim.