I'm no longer the ashamed 15 year old I once was.
I'm no longer hiding from the reality of adoption in my life.
I'm not letting society destroy my reality.
Society just doesn't believe in my reality.
Society doesn't believe in the reality of adoption loss
for the mothers or the children.
Often, those effected by adoption loss don't even realize the reality of the loss. I didn't until after reunion. Thankfully, I can say that I never encouraged adoption to anyone as I did not want to be a part of someone living with the pain I felt from the loss of my son. The pain, even in deep denial, was more than I would wish on anybody.
Yesterday I ran across this blog post (which was deleted after receiving my comment to it).
We have good friends who are currently clear across the country in the process of adopting a baby. Everything seemed like it was going fine, however, the birth mother has had medical problems, and the baby can't leave the hospital before the birth mother. In the meantime, the birth mother is insisting on caring for the baby by herself (without help from the nurses) and is insisting on nursing the baby.
Please pray that she would make the right decision for the baby, and please pray for our friends who are in limbo, hanging on.
Thank you so much!
, pray for us! St. Joseph
St. Collette, pray for us!
Imagine that!! How dare a mother insist on nursing her own child! How dare that mother be allowed to care for her baby without any help from the nurses! And of course, to this blogger, the "right decision" that should be made is for adoption to still take place. Yes, it is sad that the couple wanting to be parents are in limbo. It is so much more sad, however, that they are praying for the separation of a mother and a child. The separation of a child from their family of origin, their ancestry, etc.
Today I went to see if my comment had been posted. I was not surprised to see that it hadn't, but I was surprised to see that the post had been deleted entirely.
There was a new post today, referencing the post and the comment that had been received from me. Explaining why she believes in adoption being the right choice. Because she is adopted. She says that she believes God doesn't make mistakes. I think she means that God meant her to be born to one family, and adopted by another. Because, of course, her mother fits the "crack whore" stereotype.
She also goes on to say how hard it must be to give your child up, that she doesn't know how a mother can choose to give her child up for adoption. But it is still the right choice ~ for someone else to do. She received a comment to the new post. A woman saying her sister gave a child up for adoption ~ she doesn't think she could have done it ~ but what an amazing story it is for her sister and sister's child.
And then at the end of the new post ~ she says she's still praying.
So am I. I'm praying as this blogger originally asked. "That she (the sick mother, still in the hospital) would make the right decision for the baby". I'm praying that the mother, if at all possible, and if abuse/neglect are not a part of her story, has the strength and support to raise her child. I'm praying that she has a full recovery from whatever illness is giving her the blessing of being with her child for the first days of life outside the mother's womb. I'm praying that this mother and child have a long, blessed life together as family and will never know that pain and loss that adoption is.