I think I can honestly say that I have indeed come to a place of acceptance and peace in regards to Christopher, my place in his life. I really didn't think that was possible! I know that it would not have been possible if not for the support from many of you, from many moms and adoptees that I have met on an on-line forum.
It seems like it took so very long to get to this place. I would have never dreamed that it would take almost three years for my world to quit spinning after being reunited with Christopher. I was beginning to think that I would never get back to a "normal" life that didn't include my brain being on the adoption channel 24/7.
I have been full of gratitude since writing last. So grateful as I said for the replies I received, for those I have met online who share their struggles in order to help others and bring awareness to the effects of adoption in their lives.
I am so grateful for all the blessings in my life. Even though suffering the greatest loss a mother could experience, I have been blessed in it too. I had no other choice than adoption back in 1979. I thank God every day that Christopher did indeed go to great parents. He has wonderful extended families who have fully embraced him, he has never felt as though he didn't belong. His parents have supported him in our reunion, he has not been made to feel as though he has to choose between families. I could not have asked for more for him in his adoption.
I truly believe that things happen in the time they are meant to. I think that this phase of my "accepting" came at the perfect time for the next phase of this adoption journey.
Yesterday I started the day checking my email, finding a great surprise. I had a message and a Facebook friend request from Christopher's mom! It was a lovely message, one that touched my heart. After a bit of a panic about letting her into my FB world, and seeking some advice from a few friends, I realized what a gift this was. A chance to get to know each other ~ finally. I told her in a message accepting her friendship that I wanted her to know the "real me", not the FB me, and I gave her my email address as well as my cell phone number. She replied that she would also love to meet me and get to know me in person. Last night I decided to text Christopher to let him know, in case he didn't already, that his moms were now fb friends. After a few hilarious texts back and forth my heart could not have been lighter!
So, here's to the next part of this journey. I look forward to getting to know the woman who loves my son as much as I, the loving and kind mom I prayed for my son to have.
My Christmas was full of Christmas blessings
and even what I once considered would take a miracle to happen!
I hope that all of you also had a Very Merry Christmas.
To those of you who only dream of finding, or knowing,
your child, mother, father, family lost to adoption ~
I pray that you will one day soon know the wonder of a successful reunion.
Just as I wish that no other woman would have to know
the sorrow of losing a child to adoption,
I wish that everyone who has lost loved ones to adoption
could know the absolute joy and peace of having
your lost one(s) in your life again!
Wishing you much peace and love in the rest of this holiday season!