Sunday, October 23, 2011

Denied ~ Adoptees Original Birth Certificates

I saw an excellent documentary about the denial of original birth certificate to adoptees. 

Here is a book trailer for "Late Discoveries: An Adoptees Quest For Truth", by Susan Bennett, the first adoptee in the above video.


Sunday, October 9, 2011

One Year Ago Today...

On October 9, 2010 I saw my son for the first time in 31 years.  It was a wonderful visit, just the two of us for about an hour.  I will never forget that first look into his eyes, that first hug...  listening to his voice, his laughter... 


Today I sent him a text.  It has been unanswered.  Just like the text I sent him early last week. 

I wish I felt today 
as happy as I was
one year ago today.


Friday, October 7, 2011

"Birthmothers That Scam Innocent People" ...Really?!?

I ran across a blog post titled "Birthmothers That Scam Innocent People".  It infuriates me for so many reasons. Not the least of which includes her use of the term birthmother and then using it for an expectant mother who hasn't even given birth yet.  Then there is the spelling and grammar issue ~ I wanted so badly to correct all the mistakes in the quotes below! 

After deciding to write about this, I wanted to find out more about the blogger.  Turns out she is the owner and founder of Unique Adoptions.  She calls herself an "Adoption Specialist". 

Unique Adoptions is an "adoption facilitating service" which is not subject to licensing by the State of California.  This is according to the information page on their website.

Unique Adoptions also has a "Birthmother Relocation Program"!  Wonder if they relocate mothers to Utah??

If you aren't too sick when you are done with reading this, you can find more of this blogger/specialist/founder/owner's writing here.  Some of the post titles?   "Daily Interaction With Birthmothers" and "How To Adopt In 6 Months". 

From the blog post:
So In order to get her and her two daughters safe, I purchased $519.00 woth of Greyhound tickets after I wired her $300.00 for gas and food to use her own vechile to drive to CA. But then she said it as stolen by the X-boyfriend RED FLAG! I should of stopeed there. But NO! I felt so bad for her.
Felt bad for her?  Really...

So I took her to the Ultrasound office to get a better date Idea of her pregnancy and possible determine gender .. But to my SUPRISE the tech said Oh look you are 7 weeks and 1 day pregnant!!!!! I almost passed out. Now what was I goning to do with this women and her children that had just arrived and was barley pregnant. NO family wants to get involved with a women that is not through her first Trimester.
So instead of saying SORRY, I cant help you I told her not to worry we would just keep plugging along and that I am sure once she was further along a family would love to parent this baby. So for 6 weeks I supported her and her to daughters , I bought her grocerys, Clothing, Blankets, Pillows, I let her borrow my DVD Player I had to pay to keep her in a hotel. I could of just said I am sorry I cannot do this but I did not have the HEart to place them on the streets, so I continued to Hemerage Money from my own savings account to the tune of $4300.00 dollars. 
Really...  She did this out of the kindness of her heart?  Or out of the expectation of the tens of thousands of dollars she could get from an adoptive couple?

she was going to abort the baby if we could not have a family in place. I tried to reasure her that their would be a family and to have faith..

So maybe she was not in it for the infant, maybe she was in it just to "save a baby from abortion"? Uggghhhh, I'm not even going to go there...

YOu know you can work with these women and think they are all so nice and caring, Bend over backwards to help them and then you still get screwed in the long run.

These women??!?  But was she bending over backwards to help them?  Or to help herself to their unborn child??

So all of you that spokme to us about Angela Pynes she is gone, I am out my savings account and who knows what the out come of this inocent child will be. Oh and did I forget to mention that she got a SAINT Bernanrd puppy to hide in the Hotel, The Kids needed something to play with!! Jeepers it never ends with these women.
Again, "these women".  There you go everyone ~ that is what adoption "counselors" think about the pregnant mothers considering adoption.  They are less than ~ they are only "these women".  This blogger isn't only talking about the woman who scammed her, she is talking about all expectant women she deals with.  She hasn't said "this woman", she has said (more than once) "these women". 

So as you can see it is not only adoptiveparents that get taken for a ride and used, But it is all adoption professionals, I am sure so many of us have storys of hugh financial losses because we choose to take a women under our wing and try to help her but in then end, We were just another tool toget what they wanted for a very short period of time. I am just glad that is was me who suffered the loss and not one of my many adoptive parents that were thinking of her as a potential birthmother..;.
Screw me once Shame on Me but Screw me TWICE?????????????????
All adoption professionals?  She's pretty important to refer to her being scammed as something experienced by all "adoption professionals".  

In the end, "we were just another tool to get what they wanted"?  Oh, is this kind of like the financial and other methods of coercion used as tools to get what they want? A newborn infant to supply their demand?  By exploiting a mother facing a crisis or unexpected pregnancy?? 

But she's just glad that it was her that suffered the loss ~ not the many adoptive parents.  Because you know ~ adoption is all about the adoptive parents, not the infant. 
Yes ~  Shame. On. You.  Here is my response, which I am sure will not be published:

You were not scammed by a birthmother.  You were scammed by a pregnant woman using your deep desire to obtain a newborn in order to exploit you.  You were scammed because of your greed for her unborn child.  You did not bend over backwards to help this mother out of the kindness of your heart.  You bent over backwards because you thought you were going to get her baby.  A baby you needed to help supply the demand your agency has for newborn infants.  A baby who would have earned tens of thousands of dollars for your agency. 

Shame on you and your agency for preying on women in crisis.  Shame on you and your agency for targeting women facing an unexpected pregnancy and feeling that if you take care of them for a few months they owe you their flesh and blood.  Even if this mother had been sincere in considering adoption, she had every right to change her mind at any time before or after the child was born.  Shame on you if you would penalize a mother for wanting to preserve her family in the end.