I am so very, very saddened today. Broken hearted. Pissed. Disgusted. There aren't even words to describe the range of feelings I have felt since hearing the news this morning. Mostly I am absolutely saddened for a mother who was turned away from the funeral of her young daughter today.
I don't know all the details exactly, but here is a quick summary.
About 9 years ago a beautiful baby girl was given up for adoption. Her mother chose an open adoption so that she would always be able to know how her daughter was doing, so that her daughter could always know her beginnings. I'm not sure, but I think the adoption closed almost immediately. She did receive a few updates and photos. The brokenhearted mother was finally contacted years later with the horrible news that her daughter was sick, was she a match for a bone marrow transplant? Amazingly, this mom was pregnant at the time, close to her due date. This mother paid for the storage of the cord blood, paid for the legal paperwork herself to try to save her oldest daughter. When this mother tried to get an update on her health after the transplant, she was basically told it was none of her business. The adoptor started stalking the natural mother on facebook and a forum for mothers where the mother had found support from other natural moms to help her through this traumatic time. The adopters didn't like that the mother was telling people how she was being treated, so they sued claiming slander. After reviewing everything, the judge ordered visitation rights for the natural mother, threw out the slander suit. This mother finally had a chance to see her daughter for two hours after almost a decade of being denied what had been promised by the adopters. Another visit was set up for a week later so that her oldest daughter could meet the sister who saved her life. Two days before this visit, big sister was hit by a car and killed on her way to school.
As tragic as that sudden death was, just days after she and her natural mother had finally been allowed to see each other, this story gets worse.
The adopters told this natural mother that she was not welcome at the funeral. The natural mother could not be kept away. When she arrived at the funeral this morning ~ with her baby girl, the "angel" that her older daughter was so excited to meet ~ she was escorted out of the funeral.
I hope to God that there is a special place in hell for these people who broke a sacred promise to their child and her natural mother. There has to be a special place in hell for someone who would turn a mother away from her own child's funeral. What was she possibly going to do? Take some of the attention away from the adopters? Maybe cry and show more grief than the adopters? Really ~ I would love to know what they thought would happen with this young mother and sister of their supposedly beloved adopted daughter attending the funeral.
I didn't think that I would ever use the word adopter as I have here. But the people who adopted this little girl, breaking the promise of open adoption, denying the mother answers of her health status, suing the mother, then denying the attendance at the funeral of this innocent little girl... they do not deserve the title of mother or father, adoptive mother or adoptive father. They are evil, mean hearted people who will surely rot in a special hell all their own.