There is a wonderful new blog written by one such mother. Kellie writes about her role in her grandchild being given up for adoption. She writes about the coercion that happened, which she was also a victim of.
I think that her voice is an important one. I'm glad that she is writing about her story and I hope that the people searching for advice about their own pregnant daughters find her brutally honest writings and think twice before allowing adoption to be chosen as anything other than a last-choice option for their grandchild.
Here is Kellie's own description of her blog:
Go check out Kellie's blog "All In The Family Adoption".
One person looking to spread the news about the tragedies of adoption. My oldest daughter got pregnant at 19. I searched a lot on the Internet about adoption before our granddaughter was born, but I didn't get the information about the grief that first mothers experience. We were totally unprepared. My daughter relinqueshed her daughter to her uncle, my husbands brother, and his wife. This is referred to as "kinship" or "relative" adoption. I want to try to inform others of the pain and grief involved in all adoptions.
I believe others need to stand up for first mothers and adoptees. They are denied some of the basic rights that we take for granted. Those of us who love and support those who've relinquished or have been relinqueshed need to add our voice to theirs.
Welcome to adoption blog-land Kellie! You are a fabulous writer with an important viewpoint that needs to be read and known about.
On a personal note...
I can only imagine what my life might have been like if I had been able to talk to my own mom after the loss of my son to adoption. Was she suffering as I was, as Kellie is? What difference would it have made if I could know of my mom's own possible regret over her part in the loss of my son to adoption? What difference would it have made to have the compassion and understanding from my mom when I was floundering through the loss of my son alone?
My mom passed away almost 10 years ago while I was still deeply entrenched in the denial. My mother never spoke to me about the loss of my son to adoption. I never spoke to her about it either. I wish it was possible now...