Friday, January 16, 2015

Happy 6th Reunion-versary!

Six years ago today I finally had answers to the three questions that had been haunting me since the first and only time I saw my firstborn child.  Questions that haunted me for 29 years, 7 months, and 13 days.

Yes, he was alive
Yes, he was healthy
Yes, he was happy
And yes, he got great parents too.

Despite the laws in the State of Iowa (where grown adults are denied the right to know their true origins) my son was still able to find me. There are no words to express the gratitude I have for the online reunion registries and for Kim, one of the many amazing people known as "Search Angels".

As I remember that wonderful, yet frightening, day six years ago, I find myself again with mixed emotions.

That adoption is still celebrated and treated as sacred in this country.  Despite the many, many studies proving the trauma to both mother and child due to unnecessary separation.  Despite the many people now speaking out their truths regarding adoption loss.  The adoption industry is just another example proving that it is the almighty dollar that runs this country.  I long to see the day when the mother-child relationship is celebrated and treated as sacred ~ despite the mothers marital status, age, income level, etc. 

That adoptees are still denied their rights to their own true stories.   That mothers are used as the reason for keeping those records sealed ~ when the vast majority of mothers welcome and hope for reunion themselves.  It is inhumane to expect a mother to not know if her child is even alive, much less healthy and happy. 
For those who help the lost be found.  For those who help those lost in grief to find their way out.  For those who speak out their truths so others know they are no longer alone.   For those who advocate for equal rights for those who are adopted.  For those who lift up and advocate for mothers facing an unexpected pregnancy.  For the many friends I have met in Adopto-land, who have helped me find my way out of the closet, out of denial, and out of the grief that had been buried for so very many years. 
For Christopher.  As well as for his beautiful children and wife, I am overjoyed to be able to know them and be a part of their lives.  Love for his parents, who have welcomed me into their lives as well. 
 And for the first time in forever ~ love for myself.  
It's taken most of these last six years to get to this point,
there were times I wondered if I would really survive it all ~
but I did.  
 I am stronger and braver and wiser for it.

 This year I was finally able to embrace my younger self 
and show her the love and support she didn't have all those years ago.  

We deserve it.