tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953239816472596984.post5360582593791347821..comments2023-09-18T06:33:39.097-05:00Comments on Finding Christopher, Finding Myself: I'm Beginning To Fear The Birth Of My GrandsonSusiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15929169562563801608noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953239816472596984.post-34036157621380660902011-02-25T16:28:37.342-06:002011-02-25T16:28:37.342-06:00Thank you so much for sharing this & being so ...Thank you so much for sharing this & being so vulnerable...it helps me to understand better perhaps the emotion my Korean mother is experiencing...I imagine the birth of my son has been an emotionally complex experience for my Korean mother...I know it has been for me as an adoptee...Milahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14088039434355591753noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953239816472596984.post-33012081368745685012011-02-23T12:37:39.912-06:002011-02-23T12:37:39.912-06:00All those memories that come up when anything conn...All those memories that come up when anything connected to our relinquishment and children...they are endless and come from everywhere. I used to think that maybe one day it wouldn't be like that...but think again. It is what it is. <br /><br />You'll be fine. And someday you will find that you are able to totally grieve for your loss. I cried of course when my daughter died, but I more fully grieved and wept two years later when I was contacted by the daughter of the young man I did not marry...because if I had...I wouldn't be writing here today, I would not have had a child I gave up, my life would have been so different. <br /><br />Her finding me unleashed a torrent of emotions, for which I have been grateful to process, and now she is in my life for oddly enough, she needed me as much as I needed her. <br /><br />Lorraine from <a href="http://www.firstmotherforum.com/" rel="nofollow">First Mother Forum </a>Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953239816472596984.post-26775526007029338402011-02-17T01:08:32.260-06:002011-02-17T01:08:32.260-06:00Hugs. This must be an incredibly bittersweet time....Hugs. This must be an incredibly bittersweet time. <br /><br />I think it's wonderful you can share in the joy of your grandson's birth. I am happy for you, and you are in my thoughts. It is very painful to think about what might have been.ms. marginaliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03854609171313401651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953239816472596984.post-32940211309830952632011-02-16T10:34:07.514-06:002011-02-16T10:34:07.514-06:00Oh Wow! I totally see why your would be scared of ...Oh Wow! I totally see why your would be scared of this day. I hope you make it through the day with more happiness than tears of sadness but I know sometimes it doesn't always go that way with new babies.birthmothertalkshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17690158739622745922noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953239816472596984.post-52428197730087369582011-02-16T09:46:48.678-06:002011-02-16T09:46:48.678-06:00Susie, I can totally relate. My granddaughter was ...Susie, I can totally relate. My granddaughter was born just two months after I reunited with my son. I didn't live close enough to be at her birth, thankfully, because I'm sure I never would have made it through. I worried that it would be a boy. She was two months old when I visited and I was so nervous about seeing and holding her. Eventually my fear and sadness turned to joy. (((Hang in there)))Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953239816472596984.post-83092549678233831082011-02-15T21:46:01.515-06:002011-02-15T21:46:01.515-06:00((hugs))((hugs))The Declassified Adopteehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16726376584015902627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953239816472596984.post-91889651911986820952011-02-15T15:58:29.024-06:002011-02-15T15:58:29.024-06:00Oh Susie, I absolutely understand where you are co...Oh Susie, I absolutely understand where you are coming from. I did hold my daughter after she was born but I did not know that my child needed her mother, not a replacement mother. I know that sounds crazy to not know the basics like that but I honestly did not. I thought it was just me being selfish for wanting to hold her not that she needed ME on such a primal level. We didn't know. You can not beat yourself up for not being told that, adoption agencies like to keep those things from mothers. You did not purposely ignore your son. You did as you were told.<br /><br />If you break down after your grandson is born that is okay. This is why you have a community of natural mothers and adoptees here for you. You just need to reach out. You are not alone on this at all.<br /><br />HugsJeannettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10031950274392571035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953239816472596984.post-67507123685659824102011-02-15T15:45:50.807-06:002011-02-15T15:45:50.807-06:00(((hugs)))
I hope that any sadness you feel is ou...(((hugs)))<br /><br />I hope that any sadness you feel is outweighed by all the joy you feel for your grandson. Good luck and I'll be sending good thoughts your way!Jennhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07905673873066445519noreply@blogger.com