Friday, October 5, 2012

Friends I Haven't Met (Yet!)

Last week ended with getting my mail and finding a huge surprise ~ snail mail from someone I only know here on the www.  I think I smiled all day!  I'm so glad that I have gotten to know this wonderful woman, while at the same time I wish that the reason we have come to know each other didn't exist.  Friends like this are the silver lining to my adoption story.  I am so very happy that I found all the wonderful moms and adoptees who have helped me through getting to know myself again.  Many of them are over to the right on my blog list, some I have come to know through a couple of forums and facebook.  I truly don't know where I would be today if not for the support and encouragement from many of them!

The week also ended with someone who is more of an acquaintance than friend here on the www.   I have gotten to "know" him mostly through common friends on Facebook.  I doubt he even knows my name.  He is a late-discovery adoptee, only finding out he was adopted when he was 41; I believe about 5 years ago.  He is a staunch supporter of adoptee rights and last week due to his collection of names for the adoptee rights demonstration, another mother and son found each other.  I was so happy for the reunited family, but especially happy for Jeff.  I think he was overwhelmed by the response to his call for help in locating the mother whose name was on the necklace, as well as by the positive outcome in that reunion.  Although Jeff is a huge adoptee rights supporter, a supporter of helping find family members lost to adoption, he himself had only hit road blocks in his own search. 

Until two days ago.

Wednesday I was on FaceBook and noticed a lot of comments being made onto a Jeff's page.  When the comments kept being made, curiosity got the best of me and I clicked over to his page to see what was going on.  I quickly found myself with a huge smile and tears of happiness running down my cheeks.   Tears of happiness for a man I have never met, never "spoken" with.  Jeff received in the mail a package with his non-identifying information.  After waiting over 4 long years for it.  As I read through all the comments of joy and happiness from Jeff's many friends, I couldn't stop the flow of tears. 

I am so happy for Jeff, I hope that this new information leads him to even more long-awaited for answers. 

I am so blessed to have found the on-line world of adoption support.  So many of the people I have "met" here have made such a difference in my life.   Not only the two I have written about here, there are so many more. 

While some people may say that this on-line world is full of negative people ~ you know...  those bitter birthmoms and angry adoptees... 

I see the on-line world of adoptees and natural moms (even some natural dads and a grandma, some adoptive moms as well) as a loving family in and of itself.  People from all over the world, from all walks of life, all ages and colors coming together to support each other in their losses due to adoption.  While they may not always agree on things, at the heart of it all there is encouragement and support for others living life with adoption loss. 

While I wish that adoption loss had never entered my life, 
I am so very thankful for the friends I have come to know through that adoption loss. 


  1. What a coincidence! I received this amazing snail mail as well! It was a fabric post card like I have never seen in my life. I was so pleased and fascinated with it. Kept turning it over and over and smiling. ::wink:: ::wink::

    Agree completely met some great friends, amazing women, people who enrich my life. Even with that, sometimes I wish I never had the opportunity to meet them. I would have preferred my daughter over them.


  2. Great post. Blogging has created more than just an outlet but really feels like friends that have a common bond that make us feel connected even though we don't actually know each other.

  3. Great post, Susie, and so true. We would all prefer not to need friends who share our experience of adoption loss. But since it is what it is, thank goodness we have each other. And thank goodness for the www, which gave us the ability to connect beyond our local community. I hope to meet more and more of you in person as the years go by. XO

  4. I am also thankful to the wonderful friends I have met here online that I can talk to about my loss. That I can support in their time of need. I wish it was under different circumstances, but happy to know them either way.