For Mothers Considering Adoption

If you are experiencing an unexpected pregnancy and are considering adoption, please make an informed decision! Learn about all the aspects of adoption. The loss experienced by you and your child, as well as any children you are now or will in the future raise.

These links are not your typical "Rainbows and Sunshine" adoption posts. The links here are the cold, hard, truths of the effects of adoption loss. Not everyone agrees with every sentiment found in these links, but they are very common ~ more common than the adoption industry will ever let on. They are also more common than most people understand ~ unless they are living as a mother or father of adoption loss, or an adoptee.

Many of these blog posts have great discussion in the comments to the posts ~ so be sure to read the comments also!

You should also take the time to read my other pages where you can read more from the views of mothers of adoption loss as well as from adoptees themselves about what it is like to be adopted.

(The titles are links)

The Case Against Adoption: Research and Alternatives for Concerned Citizens

Adoption Trauma - From the Adoptee Point of View.  Know what trauma may be inflicted on your child due to relinquishment

 Read an adoptees words of pain and loss about being adopted

The Adoption Industry  learn the truth about it from an adoptee

 I Didn't Need My Biological Mother  An adopted daughter talks about growing up feeling that it was hard to believe that she really mattered to anybody

Booby Traps and Land Mines  Journal entries of a mom soon after losing her daughter to adoption 

How Is Trauma Part of Adoption?  An "Ask a Therapist" post.  If you are thinking of giving your baby up for adoption, it's important you  know what that could do to your baby.

Adoption Trauma ~ These are studies detailing the long-term consequences to natural mothers (“birthmothers”) of surrendering a baby for adoption. This is information that is in standard and widely-known social work and psychology articles and research reports. Adoption “professionals” are familiar with these studies — the findings are common knowledge.

Five Lies About Grief & What No One Tells You about Birthmother’s Losses

Is giving up a child for adoption a 'loving' decision?

Daughter - Sophie Read the words of someone who grew up adopted. Sofie draws on her own experiences as an adopted child to try to give an insight into what it feels like to be adopted.

Adoptee Abuse... Let's Talk About That  Adoption doesn't promise a better life...

Whose Face Stares Out My Mirror  I just found this blog written by an adoptee who was abused by her adoptive parents.  If you are considering adoption, you should know that this could be a possibility for your child...

How money rules infant adoption

Adoption Depression (The emotional cost of adoption on adoptees)
There is no way to know that the child you give up for adoption won't suffer as these have...

What Can A Tiny Baby Know?  The article is an important one to read, as are all the comments.  You will get many opinions from those who have grown up adopted.

 Unplanned Pregnancy by Tiny Blue Lines

Knocked Up by Early Mama: Redefining the Young Mom.  A great blog, more than just this post!

Evidence for the Benefits of Keeping Mothers and Babies Together 

"Birth" Mothers and Adoptees Views on Adoption

"Go Ahead, Try To Dispute The Truth"  This blog post is a FABULOUS report of many adoption studies that are must-reads for anyone considering adoption.  This was very hard for me to read, since a number of the studies were done before 1979.  They knew...

Somebodies Mother ~ An answer from another mother of adoption loss. in reply to a question from Yahoo Answers.

Was Your Relinquishment Day Happy? ~ Replies from mothers about what the day they signed their rights away was like.  You cannot begin to imagine what it is actually like...

About Girl-Mom: Teenage pregnancy is not a "crisis" or "epidemic," like so many people would like us to believe. The only true epidemic associated with teen pregnancy is the overwhelming and universal lack of support available to young mothers...  Go read more!

How We Got Here ~ a blog post about open adoption reality

Adoptive Parents Speak (not all Prospective/Adoptive parents have these thoughts/attitudes about adoption, but you can't guarantee the ones who don't!)

Adoptees comprise an unusually high proportion of children involved in outpatient psychotherapy (5 percent rather than the expected 1 to 2 percent), young patients in residential treatment centers and psychiatric hospitals (10 to 15 percent instead of 1 or 2 percent), and children identified by school systems as either ADHD, ADD, or perceptually, neurologically or emotionally impaired (6 to 9 percent or even higher instead of 1 or 2 percent), according to research illustrating the validity of ACS. And as John J. Carway, LMSW, and director of probation, Nassau County, N.Y. family and criminal courts has observed; "In the criminal justice system, young adopted offenders are vastly overrepresented." 

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