Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Looking For Moms Who Chose Adoption While Parenting Older Children

I follow the blog "wsbirthmom".  The blog is written by a mom who is raising an elementary aged daughter and chose adoption for her son born earlier this year.  She is looking for other mothers of adoption loss who are raising their older children. 

I just thought I would help her spread the word!  

Looking for birthmothers who are parenting older children



  1. I think it's sweet that your helping spread the word. I really worry about the children that were born and being raised with their mother and for them to get pregnant and choose adoption. I feel that no matter how you explain it they might think it's their fault that their brother or sister got placed for adoption. I have seen parents say that they couldn't afford sports or dance lessons or it would be hard to feed one more child. Or, when I see them talking how they wanted better for the child. I fear that the children there will think that the child given away is loved more and they want better.
    In now way, am I suggesting that the child would be right but feelings are not logical and I worry that these kids loss is going to be too big.

  2. Susie - thank you so much for helping get the word out. For birthmothertalks - believe me, I heard the 'am I going to be going away too?' questions, and dealt with getting my daughter through the tears, and realization that her brother, who was going to be born on any day that she chose (he ended up being born 1 day after her b-day, as she didn't want to share her birthday) was not going to come home with us from the hospital. I used a book titled 'Sam's Sister'. I didn't know it at the time I was doing all the explaining, that I used the 'exact same verbiage' in the book. So, when my daughter read the book, and read the same words that I used to explain everything, it was as if it just clicked with her, and she accepted it. When I was choosing W's parents, it was imperative to me that we have an open adoption, not for me but for the children. This seems to be what is happening, despite the fact that they live 11 hours away from us. 20 days until our first visit since they left town is coming up.....we get to be there 5 whole days. I'm not sure if that will be good, or bad. But I can not wait nonetheless. I would appreciate everyone helping spread the word about this unique group of us. There aren't that many, and it's tough to relate to 16 and pregnant, if you know what I mean. Thanks to all, I appreciate anything you'll do to help.

  3. WSbirthmom,
    I will write about your group too and see if I can help you at all. I am so happy that you have an open adoption that way the loss hopefully isn't as bad as it could be. I get what you mean about being different than 16 and pregnant. Although, I think each situation comes with different problems and sadness. In my case, since I didn't talk about my daughter and adoption until years down the road my kids don't really tell me much about what's going on with how they are feeling and by me not talking or always admitting the truth about how many kids I had that kind of carries over to them too.