I was one of the people with his wife when the realization hit her that her husband very well could have been in the early morning accident we were all waiting to hear the details of.
I was one of the people to see her face when the sheriffs deputies came into the building and said that they needed to talk to her.
I cannot get the look on her face out of my mind. I can still hear her words and cries. That moment is etched into my brain and is haunting me.
Soon after that the school bus carrying their young children arrived at my school. They didn't yet know there had been an accident, didn't know that their father had died. We all had to carry on as though it was a normal school day. The kids' teachers had to find the strength to smile and pretend. I had to go get them from class when a family friend arrived later to bring them home. I felt as though was leading them out of their happy little life, into a horrible new life without their daddy.
For once I was so thankful for my inability to cry, to pretend that everything was ok...
Later that day I called my husband and our kids ~ I needed to hear their voices and know they were ok and tell them again how much I loved them. Later that night, when I knew he would be done with dinner and bedtime routines, I called Christopher. It was so good for my heart and soul to hear his voice again.
That horrendous day made me realize that while I may not have the reunion of my dreams ~ I do know that Christopher and his family are happy and healthy and loved by so many. I was able to pick up the phone and let him know how much they are all loved by me. If not for reunion, I would have been lost in the worrying that he may have suffered a death like the one earlier that morning. So sad that it took a tragedy for me to appreciate all that I do have in reunion, instead of looking at what I don't yet have.
Life is too short. Life can change in the blink of an eye. Tell those you love that you love them.
Give freely of your love and hugs ~
for you never know when it may be the last time you can give them.
I count all of you blog-land "friends" as blessings in my life ~
many of you have touched my life in ways you will never know.
I wish each and every one of you to know the joy I have been so blessed to have in finding Christopher.
To those of you searching, I hope you find.
To those of you waiting to be accepted into your child's life ~
I hope your wait ends soon.
To those of you with empty arms, I hope they are soon filled.
Thank you all for being there for me in this journey of Finding Myself.