From a speech given at the first American Adoption Congress in Washington, DC.
It's not that I agree with every word that makes it hit home especially hard.
It's the date that this speech was given.
May 4, 1979
Just four days before Christopher was born.
Just four days.
I had no idea...
My son was NOT unwanted.
I did not wish to remain forever hidden from him.
Sadly, 36 years later and this still rings true...
”It is the child welfare establishment that has provided the picture of birth mothers as indifferent – as mothers who abandon their unwanted children with a wish to remain forever hidden from them. They know that this is seldom true, but it helps to facilitate their work for the public to believe this. Society does not dismiss the importance of the natural family as readily as the social planners, and so it is useful to portray relinquishing parents as different from caring parents."
”The birth mother must be different, an aberration; for if it were true that she had the same degree of love for her child as all other mothers, the good of adoption would be overwhelmed by the tragedy of it. Adoptive parents are somewhat relieved of guilt if they can be assured that the birth parents truly did not want their child; for, under those circumstances, it is possible to feel entitled to claim the child of others."
"Neither society nor the mother who holds the child in her arms wants to confront the agony of the mother from whose arms that same child was taken. But that agony is real, as we have come to learn through our experience with reunions.“