Wednesday, November 10, 2010

A Mother Is Born

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.
She never existed before. 
The woman existed, but the mother, never. 
A mother is something absolutely new. 

I wish that I had known this 
          when I was pregnant with Christopher.  

I wish I had known that 
           a mother's love never dies.  
                    That it wasn't possible to 
                     "just get on with your life as if..."

I wish Christopher's (adoptive) 
          mom wanted to know me.

I wish it didn't hurt 
           that she doesn't.

I wish that every girl/woman 
           facing an unexpected pregnancy 
              could know the above quote 
                 and believe in it's truth.

I wish that adoptive/prospective adoptive parents             
           understood that the child they adopt does indeed    
               have another mother.  

I wish that mothers were 
              not considered replaceable.

I wish that the bond between a mother and her child
              was cherished and preserved always. 

I wish that I was 
               Christopher's only mother. 


  1. You wrote the words that I have felt that I couldn't put so eloquently.
    Thank you,

  2. Beautiful post. I have a question about your contact with your son. Do you feel that it's an equal balance of who is making the contact? Or do you write first more or him? With almost all my contact with my daughter, I feel that it is me who is making the move.

  3. This is a very nice post. - Just Me, the Adoptee

  4. @birthmothertalks ~ For the most part it is an equal balance. We email back and forth often, sometimes every day, sometimes it falls back to every 3 or 4 days. There was a several month period earlier this year where he was only emailing every couple of weeks, and that was only after I sent him an email with just a quick hi or quote or something.

    Since we met each other last month, it has been very regular, several times a week, if not a day. For which I am VERY thankful in this month of thanks! (because it's Thanksgiving month, not Adoption Bewareness Month!)

  5. @birthmothertalks ~ I'm sorry you are the one who is making contact. Hopefully some day soon that will change!

  6. Susie thanks for not minding that I am asking you questions. We met our children so close to each other so I am curious. Don't feel the need to be sorry. She responds to me and seems very open to meeting again in the future.