Monday, August 29, 2011

Building My Wings

Falling.  Flying.  I find myself thinking about both as I continue my journey of "finding myself" these days. I found this painting and it occured to me that maybe this is what I am doing.  Building my wings.  The first time I remember feeling as though I could fly was when I started to authentically live this life of being a mom of adoption loss ~ I found reality in "The Truth Shall Set You Free".  As often happens, something unexpected came along to knock me down into the pits of adoption loss despair again. There have been many ups and downs in this journey of finding myself after reunion with my son.  Instead of looking at that as all bad, perhaps I need to look at the falling as a time I am "building my wings", strengthening them to help me fly farther up next time.  Maybe it's in the falling that we find the strength to fly.

Thanks to Suz leaving a link in her reply on my last post, I was able to read again her post about falling.  I again found myself being drawn into Suz's experience of falling...

I fear ever getting even remotely close to facing this!  But then, as I go on to read the rest of Suz's post, especially these words:

I cannot deny that even as I fear it, I also desire it.  I want to face my grief and loss in order to move past it.  I don't want to be held prisoner by my buried emotions forever.

 Now if only I could find a way to finally do that...

Thank you to The Artsy Girl Studio for permission to use her beautiful painting "She Built Her Wings".  Artsy Girl has many other prints that I have fallen in love with, including "Be Brave" which has also given me an idea for a future blog post. 


  1. Once again, thank you for the plug and appreciate the fact that my experience, words, etc. can be helpful to someone.

    Want to note that I do feel the same. I want to face this, I want to push through this. My challenge is to find the right person, time, place to go THERE. I feel that time approaching. I need to discuss it with my current therapist. I do trust him, and now I have my wonderful husband as well. I just need assurance that I can still function while doing this work. I have two boys to parent, a job to maintain, etc. It cannot be so overwhelming that I cannot function.

    I am forever a work in progress.

    And while rather unrelated, your post reminded me of a song by Grace Potter and the Nocturnals. Falling or Flying. Check it out on youtube.

    Finally, I wonder where you live. I think I might like to share a coffee with you someday.

    : )

  2. I love this post Susie. Love the building your wings so you can fly farther next time. What we have been through is not for the meek. You, we, are all stronger than we think. Take the steps you can handle now, and worry about the next steps later.