Wednesday, May 23, 2012

I Need To Decide ~ Am I Going To Chicago?

Click here to learn more about the demonstration!

I really, REALLY want to go.  I have been excited about it ever since I learned that the demonstration was going to be in Chicago this year. 

Some of  the friends I have met in adopto-land have become a huge part of my life through the healing I have found with them.  I think it would be so amazing to meet them "in real life". 

What's holding me back?  I hate to admit that one of the big things is explaining to my hubby that I want to go on a road trip to meet a bunch of people I only know through cyber-space.  Another thing is that although I think this could be a huge healing step, I also have that fear of the "Fessler Effect" as Suz calls it.  Being in the midst of so many people who get it? Who get me because of the adoption loss?  *sigh*  That thought is as amazing as it is frightening for me. 

But.  I really, REALLY want to go!  I just need the final push to make that decision. 


Who's going?

When are you arriving?

How long are you staying?


  1. I am *planning* on going. Finances are up in the air right now.

    I was worried about the "Fessler Effect," as you/Suz have described it my first time two demonstrations ago. I was relieved to find, that personally for me, I was not emotionally overwhelmed. Not that I'm a good gauge as to what is and isn't emotionally overwhelming. I have, usually, always been able to shut adoption-related emotions off when I don't want to entertain them. I had denied adoption had any relevance in my life for so long that I finally realized that what I had actually done was developed a skill of pushing those emotions away to not have to deal with them.

  2. I'm going. Booked the flight and hotel. I'm flying in Saturday morning, spending Saturday and Sunday morning in the city with Rudy (he's a huge Chicago fan and wants to show me his favorite travel destination) and then it's protest time! We're flying home Tuesday afternoon.

  3. Still undecided. My surgery results may make the decision for me. I really WANT to go but something inside me, yet to be identified, feels sick and uneasy at the prospect. It could be that it is my city, the city that I gave birth to, and surrendered, my daughter in. It is way triggering even on NON adoptee rights demonstrations. I feel an internal longing to go to the Windy City and soon, but I see it as a solitary visit. A weekend alone, walking my old streets, choosing to see, be seen, etc. Yet not going to the demo, when it is in MY City, the state where my daughter lost her original identity(due to me and society as a whole) seems like an additional crime against nature. I should be there. I just dont know if I have the emotional fortitude to do it.

  4. Maybe this can be a bit of a push. The wonderful folks I met last year at the demonstration were some of the most down-to-earth, real, compassionate people I have ever known. Fighting and speaking out against something that is full of such judgment by society seems to crumble that wall that so many tend to hold around them in an effort to be who they are "expected" to be, leaving just the true person underneath.

    That's what it was like for me there. No pretense, no judging. Just acceptance and compassion. It was like walking into a room full of old friends and just knowing you belong.

    And all of that on top of knowing you are there fighting for what you believe in, there to give support and try to make a change for adoptee rights. After all the time of writing on my blog about adoptee rights, sending letters to lawmakers, making the phone calls when asked to do so, it felt SO GOOD to finally be visible, to stand up and actually be seen for all that I believe in.

    I really, REALLY hope you go. I would love to see you there. My family (nine of us total) arrive on Saturday and we will actually be there all the way through until Friday morning. After my granddaughter's surprise appearance during last years demonstration, it almost seems fitting that we will be there when she turns one - our final day there - Thursday.

    Plus, if you go, you can help me make sure Cheerio doesn't get lost trying to find her hotel room this year! ;)

  5. Not sure yet. I thought I would, but have been spending a lot of time and money traveling to promote Second-Chance Mother. But it would be worth it just to meet cyber friends like you.

  6. I'm going. : ) I'm not sure yet what day I'm coming in though or how long I'll stay. I'd like to be there for the sign making party and the demonstration, and I'd also be really interested in spending a bit of time inside to watch and learn. I'm hoping it will be like what Cassi said - that by being with people who get it I will just feel like I belong. Guess I'll have to read up on the "Fessler Affect". Hmm.

  7. Um, "Effect". Knew it as soon as I hit the pulish key. ; )

  8. I live 2.5 hours away, so I am planning on coming up Monday. I should have enough vacation days unless something unforeseen takes them away.

    But I still don't have a great grasph on what one actually does at these demonstrations.

  9. Seriously Mom? Go. Just go. What is the worst that might happen? You might cry or something? You might find yourself a little bit closer to healing? Terrible!!!

    Go. Go for yourself and for all those young mothers out there that don't have amazing supportive parents like I have. It will be good for you. Plus you can stay at Donna's for free and verify that her husband is a real life person and not a cat!