Just
Don't
Get
It...
It should be so simple...
Why can't people SEE and UNDERSTAND the foundation of adoption?
Yes, when it's necessary adoption can be a wonderful thing.
BUT...
It's built upon great loss and tragedy. Necessary due to abuse of any sort? That's still a tragedy. Necessary due to finances? Necessary due to the mother being made to feel she's not good enough for some temporary reason? That's even more tragic.
Did you read that? Adoption is built upon a foundation of great loss and tragedy. Adoption cannot happen without a family facing unimaginable loss and trauma that lasts a lifetime.
The beauty of adoption doesn't take away the ugly of relinquishment.
The story of adoption should be:
Yes ~ it's tragic what happened. Thank God that a family was found for this child who has already suffered such great loss. Thank God for this family who understands the great loss involved and will honor all that goes along with that loss.
Adoption is supposed to be about finding a family for a child who needs one.
But that's not how the story goes...
Adoption has become nothing more than finding a child for a family who
Oh ~ and the unregulated $13 Billion/year industry that is at the heart of it all.
Then we have the cries "But what about the infertiles?" "They have so much love to give" "They suffer such grief from their empty arms".
What about them indeed. I have great sympathy and empathy for women who are unable to conceive or carry a baby to term. I really do ~ I cannot begin to imagine the depth of that loss.
I just don't get why it's ok for the mother of adoption loss to live with that life-long deep grief and loss but it's not ok for an infertile woman to live with it...
I
Just
Don't
Get
It...
Because infertile women are viewed as less than in our society.
ReplyDeleteAdopting a child doesn't make you any less infertile though. It makes you an adoptive mother of a child whose natural mother is also one viewed as "less than". Is making another woman feel "less than" justifiable when it helps alleviate your own feeling of "less than"? Rather, lets break the stigma of infertility. Lets pour the money into researching and lowering the instances of infertility.
DeleteIt goes beyond breaking the stigma of infertility. It's getting rid of the status symbol that parenthood has become. It's getting rid of the idea that you don't know what love is until you become a parent. Recognizing that families don't have to include children. Recognizing the contributions that people without children make.
DeleteAll things you and others with children could never understand.