Tuesday, September 28, 2010

I Do NOT Want Or Expect A Right To Privacy!

An administrator over at GIMH said today:

"it has always been my understanding that in most closed 
adoptions natural/first parents don’t want records unsealed 
because it takes away their right to privacy."

I was NEVER promised, nor would I have EVER asked for anonymity. Quite the opposite happened, actually. I was told that if I ever searched for my son, I would be breaking the law. Thank God that my son and I were able to find each other in 2009. With no help from the adoption agency, Florence Crittenton, who had all my current information.  

When my son contacted them to start his search, he was told it would cost hundreds of dollars for them to “try” to locate me. Even though in his file was every address and phone number he needed to find me and several other family members in case he came looking for me after my death.  Even though my father lived in the same house I grew up in, the same address and phone number that was in my records at the time my son was born.  They were not looking out for either of our best interests. They simply wanted to make a few more bucks off of my son, in addition to the money his parents paid to adopt him.

It makes me SO angry that the adoption industry and adoptive parent groups try to blame natural families for closed adoption records.  If that was the case, the records would be closed when the parents signed away their rights.  If parents sign away their rights, but the child for some reason would never be adopted, the records are not closed.  The records only close AFTER an adoption is finalized.  

The groups that fight against open records for all Americans often cite the "anonymous" natural parents that have contacted them, cowering behind so-called promises of anonymity.  These natural parents, they say, do not give their true identities, out of fear of being "found out".  I believe that the majority of these so-called natural parents are actually pro-adoption advocates that do not want records opened.  

I, and all the other natural moms I "know", want our children to have access to their original birth certificates.  The natural moms I know would never hide behind anonymity.  The natural moms I know would welcome contact with our lost children, if they would come looking for us after getting their OBC's. 

The right to open records should never be based on our wants anyways, as it is not our rights that are being denied.  It is our children whose rights are trampled on.  It is our children who should be listened to when it comes to opening adoption records.  Our children, who as adults, should be able to have their OBC like any other American citizen. 


  1. Thank you!!! That blog is a joke.

  2. Still trying to get mine even though I already know all the info and have given it to them several times with a letter telling them that secrecy is moot at this point. Each time I do this, they return everything to me with no explanation or anything. Bull.

  3. Hi:
    My name is Cindy and I am an adoptee. I was just connected with my biological mother and family this past May. WOW, what a whirlwind it has been. I am 36 yrs old, and I lived with my biological mother and family for the first 18 months of my life. She wasnt able to give me the life she wanted for me so she placed me up for adotion. I was placed with a FANTASTIC couple who had just lost thier 2 biological children to Cystic fibrosis. I could have asked for a better life.

    I just wanted to say HI and wanted to let you know that I will be following your blog.
    I havent reasched to point of blogging about my experiences, but I am getting there.