Thursday, November 22, 2012

Adoption ~ Is NOT Among The Blessings I Name


So many blessings, it would be impossible to list them all one by one.

While I had a wonderful Thanksgiving, I find myself keeping busy tonight to stop my mind from wandering. I know I am avoiding bed in order to keep my brain busy so that I won't dwell on the fact that I didn't hear from Christopher today. I knew I wouldn't get a phone call, but why does the heart still hold out that possibility? I thought for sure I would get an email, or text, or even just a message on Facebook...

*Sigh*

 Today is not only Thanksgiving,  Christopher's heart surgery was one year ago today.  He is doing wonderful ~ is enjoying his second lease on life.

As I said, I have so many blessings.  But the heart continues to break, the loss of my son to adoption continues to tear me apart.  Despite reunion, despite the many blessings in my life.

How can anyone say that adoption is a blessing??

2 comments:

  1. I understand what you mean. I did hear from my daughter in reunion on Thanksgiving via text but its very rare she makes a first move. Did you send him a text? With my daughter I always try to communicate with her even if its just a weekly or bi weekly text to say hi.

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  2. Adoption can be said to be a blessing for those who benefit from it - agencies and prospective adopters.

    I dont even expect to hear form my daughter anymore. Years ago the lack of her at our holiday events caused great pain for me. I still miss her but no longer feel angst over it. Her choice now. Her decision. Not mine. Not anyones but hers. I put more love into the people who do want to know and care about me versus obsessing over those that dont.

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