I was just reading the article about the proposed "Baby Veronica" law in Oklahoma. Reading that the bill would require birth parents to go before a judge to sign away parental rights. I found myself lost in remembering and wondering...
I don't remember if this was before or after Christopher was born. I think it was after? I remember sitting in an office talking to a "counselor" about the adoption hearing that would be/had been scheduled. She was telling me that it was my choice to attend the hearing or not. She told me that if I attended it I would be sworn in to tell the truth and nothing but the truth. She then told me that the judge would ask me several questions about why I was giving my child up for adoption. That he would ask if adoption was truly what I wanted. She told me that if I told him the truth that he probably wouldn't let me give my baby up. (For I didn't "want" to give him up ~ I felt that I "had" to give him up.)
I remember the panic. I knew that there was no way I was going to be able to go in front of that judge and lie to him. What if he wouldn't "let" me give my baby up??
I remember the counselor repeating this process to me a couple of times. To be sure I understood. Was she telling me this to ensure that I wouldn't go to court to relinquish my rights ~ so that the judge wouldn't stop the adoption? Or maybe... maybe she was trying to get me to see that adoption wasn't what I really wanted nor had to do?
I wonder...
I do know that if I had been made to go in front of a judge I would not have been able to tell him that I wanted to give my son up for adoption.
Not that this changes anything.
Just makes me wonder though...
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