American Adoption Congress Conference 2016

After attending AAC 2016, I have too much to write about to fit it all in one post.  Here is a summary of the experience, more to come in the following days:

The Week of Firsts

• I attended my first ever "real life" adoption event ~ the AAC 2016 Conference.  
• I traveled alone for the first time, which I surprisingly actually enjoyed.
• I was a presenter on a workshop panel ~ the first time I've ever spoken out loud to a group regarding adoption loss in my life.  Another thing that I very surprisingly enjoyed! 

The Stories
The biggest take-away from the conference for me were the stories.

So very many different stories.  

Different stories, but all rooted in loss and covered in confusion.

Adoptees, mothers, and adoptive mothers ~ even a raised son of one of the mothers presenting on Saturday morning spoke a little.  

Not only stories of the keynote speakers and the various workshops I attended, but also many people attending.  The questions and discussions from the audience after the keynotes and workshops were also insightful.

I am a people watcher, and couldn't help but watch and eavesdrop listen to the many stories being told all around me at various times throughout the conference.


The People
I thought that my favorite thing about attending was going to be meeting some of my adoptionland friends in real life.  It was awesome meeting Suz & Amanda, as well as seeing and meeting others that I "knew" through various blogs and forums.

The thing that most effected me about the conference though was the experience of just being with so many people who "got it".

The son, who was about the same age as Christopher, and his natural mom.
The daughter, also about the same age as my son, and her adoptive mom.

The moms.  Oh, the moms.  There were some amazing, strong, beautiful women of many ages, a few years to decades of loss, in or not in various stages of reunion with their (now adult) children.  All so supportive and caring.

The adoptees, who were so open to sharing their own reactions in reunion.
Who spoke of the times they pulled away from their original mothers and couldn't even explain why. Who were so open with helpful advice or caring, supportive words.

People who didn't look at you with pity, or reply with "what a wonderful thing you did" or...  

American Adoption Congress in Denver

I am getting excited to attend the AAC Conference in Denver at the end of the month!  There are a few reasons I decided to finally attend an adoption related conference.

This one was close enough to consider driving to ~ about nine hours away, but in the end I decided to fly in order to have more time there/less time away from work.  

The chance to meet in real life some people who have become friends here in AdoptionLand on the www.  I'm most excited about that than anything else, I think!

The chance for more healing.  

One reason has come up in the last week or so, long after my decision to attend was made.  In the fight for adoptee rights, nothing makes me more mad than to see us moms blamed for the continued discrimination against adult adoptees.  (Well, other than the fact that they aren't allowed their obc's in the first place!)  I'm glad to be attending the conference just to be present and show that natural moms are not some pathetic beings, cowering in the corner, terrified of her child lost to adoption. I fully support adoptees to have the right to their true facts of birth ~ their original birth certificates as well as any adoption records the adoption agency/lawyer has on file.  I also believe all mothers should have the same right to their child lost to adoption's birth certificate just as they do to the other children they gave birth to.  

The latest reason I'm excited to attend (yet a little nervous too) is that I have been asked to join Suz Bednarz, Kathy Aderhold and Richard Kish and present on "Mitigating & Managing Collateral Damage: Impact of Adoption on 1st Family"!  The reason I'm nervous is first of all ~ public speaking!  Secondly this is my first event of anything like this, and I'm kind of scared that the 37+ years of mostly being unable to cry about my adoption loss might be unleashed, leading to a torrent of tears that won't stop.  The thirty years of denial and living in the closet before reunion did a great job on making it impossible for me to cry about Christopher.  Oh, the tears begin to appear, the lump in the throat grows huge, but the complete (even if illogical) fear of falling into that deep pit of despair, never to find my way out again, will not let me "go there"; therefore stopping any more tears before they become too many tears.  Hmmm...  well, there is one more thing to add to the list of collateral damage adoption has left on my life!

Will you be at the AAC Conference?  I hope I get to meet you ~ in real life!!