Showing posts with label courage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label courage. Show all posts

Monday, October 6, 2014

Step Into Your Feminine Power

I read a blog post tonight about stepping into your feminine power.  The title of the blog post is "Strong Like the Water". 

As I read this post, I found myself thinking that the authors words could be great inspiration for someone facing an unexpected pregnancy:
What is an empowered woman like?
I keep returning to this question and wondering. What is the nature of feminine power? Is it different from masculine power? Do we have any models?
What is more representative of the nature of feminine power than childbirth?  Is there anything that more differentiates feminine power from masculine power?  I think not. 

The author ponders on how to step more fully into her power, finding that answer in the element of water ~ from a small droplet to a raging waterfall:

Droplets of water were rolling from the soft moss into the lake. As I listened to their delicate music, I marveled at how these sweet droplets were made of the same stuff that filled the great lake, and which had, over millennia, carved the entire valley.
She goes on to compare that to the daily job of mothering:

I was put in mind of the daily tasks of mothering, which in themselves are so small, yet which add up to something great. ‘Take heart’, the droplets seemed to say. ‘Each sandwich made, each sock hung up to dry, each goodnight kiss is a droplet that partakes of the great lake of love, which has huge power.’ This put me in mind of Mother Theresa’s advice that we should not pursue “great deeds” but rather “small deeds with great love.”

It's Not About The Big Picture All At Once

Often a mother makes the mistake of going to an adoption agency or crisis pregnancy center when looking for advice and help while facing an unexpected pregnancy.  The problem with this is that they aren't there to offer help to that mom.  They aren't there to help her step into her power.  They are there to supply the adoption industry.  In order to do that they have to make the mother think that she isn't worthy of being a mother to her child.  One of the ways they frighten the mother into considering adoption is by having her look at the big picture of being a mother.  How much does it cost to raise a child?  How will you continue school/settle into your career/whatever while raising a child?  How will you work/go to school ~ do you want your child raised by a babysitter? And more...  Oh, so much more do they throw at you to make you feel unworthy...

It's About The Droplets Creating the Great Lake of Love

It's the love and care shown in the small every day tasks that put together has huge power.  It's the small deeds with great love.  You don't have to face the entire first 18 years of your child's life in the first day home from the hospital.  As quoted above ‘Take heart’, the droplets seemed to say. ‘Each sandwich made, each sock hung up to dry, each goodnight kiss is a droplet that partakes of the great lake of love, which has huge power.’


The selling of adoption makes you look at the big picture all at once in an attempt to take your power away. But it's the little pictures that matter. It's all the little pictures ~ taken one day at a time ~ that make up the big picture. The love given, the kisses goodnight, the diapers changed and the belly filled. The boo-boos kissed, the lessons taught.

       The joys of being a mother.

           The joys and privilege of living your feminine power.

                  Is there anything greater?

I think not


Monday, August 11, 2014

Courage ~ Telling The Story of My Whole Heart

I took one of those facebook quizes the other day ~ What Is Your Spirit Stone?  I got:
Fire Agate - This stone represents courage. You are a true leader in your circle of friends and you're someone people look up to. You may come across as intimidating to some people, but you really are a good person. Just make sure that you don't get too courageous, and do something dangerous.
I posted on fb that I would never have considered myself courageous until these last few years. That I attribute reunion and the process of healing from the loss of my son to that...

Suz commented that she thinks of me as courageous.  That really surprised me because it's not an attribute that I have ever thought I had.  I've been pondering on this off and on for several days now.   



Yes, I do speak out about my adoption story.  I do speak out on forums, blogs, fb about the truth of adoption loss in my life.  

But I do it anonymously.  Mostly.  I have let some of the "adoption world" onto my "real life" fb page.  But not much of it.  (I can't really share much there, since Christopher, his wife, and his mom are on my friends list there.)  Most of my advocating is done through this blog, my "Finding Christopher" email and fb page.  

So.  Not so courageous after all...  

The first person in my "real life" that I told about the blog was my daughter ~ and it scared me to death knowing that she was going to read my heart here.  For I felt as Anna Nalick sings "I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd, cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud..."  

I recently also told Christopher about this blog, worried that he might find it by accident since I had started letting some of the adoption world onto my personal fb page.  So far he says he doesn't want to read any of what I have written here.  I was surprised that instead of feeling complete relief at that I was disappointed instead.

I have only briefly considered telling any of my closest friends about my writing, letting them know that my advocating for adoptee rights goes much deeper than just that.  

However...

Since taking that silly spirit rock quiz, I've been finding myself ready to share my whole story, to share all of me.  

After all, my daughter read this online diary of mine and it wasn't the end of me.  

Maybe it's time for me to start telling the story of my whole heart...





*my first post is here