Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Gratitude & The Next Phase of My Adoption Journey

I am so thankful for all the wonderful people out there in blog-land, for my followers.  I was in a weird place when I last wrote, I felt as though I was in a limbo, worried that I was going  back into denial.   I owe a huge Thank You to all of you who responded to that post.  Sometimes when we are buried in something, we need an outside view of it so we can see it clearly. 

I think I can honestly say that I have indeed come to a place of acceptance and peace in regards to Christopher, my place in his life.  I really didn't think that was possible!  I know that it would not have been possible if not for the support from many of you, from many moms and adoptees that I have met on an on-line forum. 

It seems like it took so very long to get to this place.  I would have never dreamed that it would take almost three years for my world to quit spinning after being reunited with Christopher.  I was beginning to think that I would never get back to a "normal" life that didn't include my brain being on the adoption channel 24/7. 

I have been full of gratitude since writing last.  So grateful as I said for the replies I received, for those I have met online who share their struggles in order to help others and bring awareness to the effects of adoption in their lives.

I am so grateful for all the blessings in my life.  Even though suffering the greatest loss a mother could experience, I have been blessed in it too.  I had no other choice than adoption back in 1979.  I thank God every day that Christopher did indeed go to great parents.  He has wonderful extended families who have fully embraced him, he has never felt as though he didn't belong.  His parents have supported him in our reunion, he has not been made to feel as though he has to choose between families.  I could not have asked for more for him in his adoption.

I truly believe that things happen in the time they are meant to.  I think that this phase of my "accepting" came at the perfect time for the next phase of this adoption journey.  

Yesterday I started the day checking my email, finding a great surprise.  I had a message and a Facebook friend request from Christopher's mom!  It was a lovely message, one that touched my heart.  After a bit of a panic about letting her into my FB world, and seeking some advice from a few friends, I realized what a gift this was.  A chance to get to know each other ~ finally.  I told her in a message accepting her friendship that I wanted her to know the "real me", not the FB me, and I gave her my email address as well as my cell phone number.  She replied that she would also love to meet me and get to know me in person.  Last night I decided to text Christopher to let him know, in case he didn't already, that his moms were now fb friends.  After a few hilarious texts back and forth my heart could not have been lighter!  

So, here's to the next part of this journey.  I look forward to getting to know the woman who loves my son as much as I, the loving and kind mom I prayed for my son to have.

My Christmas was full of Christmas blessings 
and even what I once considered would take a miracle to happen!  
I hope that all of you also had a Very Merry Christmas.  
To those of you who only dream of finding, or knowing, 
your child, mother, father, family lost to adoption ~ 
I pray that you will one day soon know the wonder of a successful reunion. 
Just as I wish that no other woman would have to know
the sorrow of losing a child to adoption, 
I wish that everyone who has lost loved ones to adoption 
could know the absolute joy and peace of having 
your lost one(s) in your life again!

Wishing you much peace and love in the rest of this holiday season!


  1. I am so happy for you, for Christopher, and his mom!! I was born in 1978 and I placed a daughter in 2010. A lot has changed in adoption and society but the separation is the same, it cannot be denied. I truly hope that professionals and others involved in adoption can learn from reunion and mothers like you from the past. I have an "open" adoption where we communicate by email, text, phone. Most often by email, and with pictures. I am only a year and a half into my adoption but I know every single day that it is having that information and connection that is helping me heal and accept my role as a birthmother. Mothers like you and your experiences have changed adoption for the better in many ways and I am so grateful for that.

  2. What a beautiful Christmas gift for all of you!

  3. I think this is awesome news!! I hope someday I can meet my daughter's parents again.